1 1 Kevin: Hello and welcome to the S-Words Podcast 2 for a roundtable discussion about pop culture topics 3 that begin with the letter 'S.' I'm Kevin Chiou. 4 Dom: I'm Dominic Nguyen. 5 Kevin: And our guests for this week are two of our 6 good friends, Danny Somethingorother from 7 oop-ack.com and Lita Cho from The Good, The Bad, The 8 Movie Review. It's a pleasure to have you guys with us 9 for the first time, and the way we'll be structuring the 10 shows from now on is usually that me and Dom will 11 co-host, and we'll rotate in some guest hosts for the 12 two other chairs that we have. So for this very first 13 episode, I'd just like to lay out the format for you 14 listeners. The S-Words Podcast picks a topic each week, 15 and we discuss its relevance, relation to our own lives 16 and just about everything else in between. 17 So this week we're going with an 'S' word that's 18 just around the corner, and that's the Super Bowl. 19 Pretty much the biggest sporting event in the United 20 States. And with that said, let's go straight in the 21 very first question that we usually would ask: What 22 was your first Super Bowl? 23 Dom: The first Super Bowl I remember -- well, I 24 have very vague memories of Joe Montana while sitting on 2 1 my dad's knee, but that -- you know, I wasn't even four 2 years old when the Niners won their second Super Bowl, 3 and so all of that has a mythic quality for me. The 4 first Super Bowl I really remember is 1995 with Steve 5 Young and the 49ers beating the everliving crap out of 6 the San Diego Chargers. 7 Kevin: Oh dang, you just took my Super Bowl. 8 Dom: Hey, I can have that Super Bowl too; all 9 right? It's everybody's Super Bowl. Danny? 10 Danny: You know, I'll be honest with you, I didn't 11 actually watch the Super Bowl for the football up until 12 about last year. 13 Kevin: Really? 14 Danny: Yeah. 15 Lita: I agree, me too. 16 Kevin: But you watched college football; right? 17 Danny: Yes. I watched college football like two 18 years ago. 19 Kevin: Oh, okay. 20 Dom: Guess who introduced him to college football. 21 Yeah, that's right, me. And then there was his wife who 22 I introduced to football and taught football to and -- 23 Lita: Very impressive. 24 Danny: Thanks for that by the way. 3 1 Dom: Yeah. 2 Danny: (inaudible) significantly. 3 Dom: It does. 4 Lita: I don't actually remember my first 5 Super Bowl either, but I -- Kevin taught me. 6 Kevin: I've seen you watch the Super Bowl with me. 7 Lita: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I never knew how 8 football was played until you told me how it was played 9 when we went to the Cal game. When I played the video 10 games, I would just be like, "What's a touchback?" 11 Dom: Why when I run backwards does it give other 12 people points? 13 Lita: I thought it was a good thing, so I kept 14 doing it. I'm like, "Yay! Touchbacks!" 15 Kevin: You played Madden? 16 Danny: It was under twenty yards, you have to 17 admit -- 18 Lita: On the Genesis. It was Madden 1997? 19 Something like that. 20 Kevin: They had Genesis in '97? 21 Dom: Yeah. 22 Kevin: I don't think I remember. 23 Dom: Yeah. 24 Kevin: Oh, yeah. They were still making Genesis. 4 1 Dom: They were still making Genesis games in 2 around, uh -- 3 Danny: My God, it's Madden. They'll continue 4 spitting them out until they run out of space. 5 Kevin: The first Madden I played was, I think, '93 6 for Super Nintendo, so that's why I was like, "That's 7 like five years later." 8 Dom: The first Madden I played was the first 9 Madden for Genesis. 10 Kevin: Was that '93? 11 Dom: I'm pretty sure it was around then, yeah. 12 We'll find out. You can look it up. 13 Kevin: Dang, man. 14 Dom: It's too bad that John Madden doesn't start 15 with an 'S' anywhere; otherwise, we'd do an entire 16 podcast about him too. 17 Kevin: Now here's the other thing I want to ask 18 you, though. Because you grew up as a Sega kid -- you 19 played Madden instead of Joe Montana Pro Speak Football? 20 Dom: I did. 21 Lita: What is that game? Joe Madden's Pro Speak? 22 Kevin: Joe Madden's Pro Speak. 23 Dom: Joe Madden? You mean Joe Montana? 24 Lita: Joe Montana. sorry. 5 1 Dom: You're killing my youth here, Lita. Come on. 2 I mean, Joe Montana. I grew up and he was a god. He 3 was a god. 4 Lita: Why didn't you play his game? 5 Dom: Because I couldn't afford it. 6 Lita: Oh. 7 Kevin: Did it cost more than Madden? 8 Dom: No. It's just that I never actually played 9 my own Madden. My parents would buy for me the really, 10 you know, easily-sent-to-children games like Mickey 11 Mouse's Castle of Illusion. I got that a lot. 12 Lita: Me too. I got, like, Bugs Bunny. 13 Dom: Quackshot. 14 Kevin: Oh, yeah, yeah. 15 Lita: Oh, when I had the Nintendo, the regular 16 Nintendo, my parents would buy me Bugs Bunny Birthday 17 Party and Sesame Street, and it was -- 18 Dom: That's what I got, but I would have -- 19 Lita: Everyone else had Mario 3. I was like -- 20 Dom: I would rather have had Madden when I was 21 growing up and Joe Montana's Pro Speak Football. I do 22 remember Tecmo Bowl. 23 Kevin: Oh, Tecmo Bowl is awesome. 24 Danny: I never owned that, and I still played 6 1 that. 2 Dom: Bo Jackson was a god. A god. There will 3 never be another character in a football game as 4 powerful and overpowered as Bo Jackson in that game. It 5 was amazing. 6 Kevin: So... Going back to Super Bowl -- We plan 7 to ramble quite a bit, so kind of expect that in the 8 show. What did you think of your first Super Bowl? 9 For me, it was the same one that you were talking 10 about, the San Francisco versus San Diego Chargers, and 11 San Francisco completely beating them and Dionne 12 Sanders getting to play offense at the last minute. 13 Dom: The thing is that the other Super Bowl that I 14 remember is the other 49ers smushing of the Denver 15 Broncos. That one I only remember as the score, and so 16 I always thought that the Super Bowl was pretty much 17 just putting the crown on someone that you already knew 18 was going to win, and when I was growing up, that was 19 the Niners or the Cowboys. 20 Danny: Yeah, I vaguely recall the existence of the 21 Denver Broncos mostly because of The Simpsons. "Oh, the 22 Denver Broncos!" 23 Dom: "Homer, you've always wanted to have a 24 football team." 7 1 Danny: "You just don't understand football, Mike." 2 Dom: What was it? "John Elway scores the touch -- 3 the touchdown, making the final score of the Super Bowl: 4 Denver 7, San Francisco 49ers -- " Was it fifty or 5 something like that? 6 Kevin: Yeah. Fifty or something like that. Was 7 that the same episode where President Simpson wins the 8 Super Bowl? 9 Dom: No, it wasn't. It was the same episode as 10 Scorpio. 11 Kevin: Oh, okay. Okay. Oh -- Scorpio is an 'S' 12 word. 13 Dom: Scorpio is an 'S' word. 14 Danny: I think I absorbed most of my football 15 knowledge from popular culture as opposed to actually 16 watching football. 17 Dom: I'm trying to fix that. 18 Danny: (overlapping) watching football is kind 19 of (inaudible) only picking up recently, but come to 20 think of it, that last year's Super Bowl -- I mean, come 21 on, can't get much better than that. 22 Dom: You can. You can. 23 Kevin: You can, but -- 24 Dom: There's been one -- 1999. 1999 was the one 8 1 where if only that Kevin Dyson had been one, maybe 2 two inches taller, then they would have won. 3 Lita: Oh, if he was just born taller. 4 Dom: If he was just born taller. I saw that one 5 in the dorms. It was my first communal Super Bowl 6 instead of a family Super Bowl, and it was just one of 7 the most exciting endings to a Super Bowl ever, until 8 the helmet catch last year. 9 Kevin: Yeah. So Lita, what was your first 10 Super Bowl actually like? Did you actually watch it for 11 the football, or you just watching it because everyone 12 watched it; right? 13 Lita: Yeah. It was for the commercials. Not 14 going to lie. I don't even remember the commercials 15 anymore. They're not as memorable as the years that 16 (inaudible). 17 Kevin: But, what's the commercial that you 18 remember the most? Because I have one in particular. 19 Dom: I have one, too. 20 Kevin: I think Dom knows two. 21 Lita: Right now, all I can think of is the Big 22 Daddy commercial. But what's yours? 23 Kevin: The Go Daddy commercials? 24 Lita: Yeah. 9 1 Kevin: Really? That's the one you remember? 2 Dom: With the girls taking off their shirts? 3 Kevin: Isn't that usually something a guy is 4 supposed to remember? 5 Dom: I mean, you have breasts. You can see them 6 every day in the mirror. 7 Lita: But there was such a controversy with those. 8 Like, oh, everyone was talking about it. Oh, they 9 didn't let it air. Blah, blah, blah. And then next 10 Super Bowl, they let it air, and I was like, "Okay." 11 Kevin: Well, I think my commercial -- 12 Lita: Is better, yeah. 13 Kevin: -- is much better. 14 Lita: Yeah, I'm sure it is. 15 Kevin: I'm pretty sure we can agree on this: It's 16 Terry Tate Office Linebacker. 17 Kevin: Now, I remember growing up, I watched that 18 commercial during the Super Bowl, and they said, "Go 19 online" -- I think it was to TerryTate.com or Reebok.com 20 -- "and see more," and I went on there, and the thing 21 is, you needed to be 18 to watch more of them, so I was 22 like, "Screw this. Yeah, I'm going to put, like, I'm 23 99"; right? But I scrolled wrong, and I entered 17, and 24 I was blocked out, and I had no idea how to get to the 10 1 site ever again, so not until like -- 2 Lita: You know about cookies and things like that? 3 Kevin: No. I'm a kid. I don't know this stuff. 4 This was during the time when it was exciting to move 5 from AOL to an Internet service provider and using 6 Netscape to get -- 7 Dom: Netscape Navigator was the king until it was 8 terrible, which actually happened pretty quickly. 9 Lita: It did happen pretty quickly. 10 Dom: But, yeah, Terry Tate Office Linebacker's 11 good, but one of the things that sticks out in my head 12 is the excesses of the dot-com era of Super Bowls where 13 there was that E*TRADE commercial -- 14 Kevin: Oh, the monkey! 15 Dom: -- with just the monkey dancing for thirty 16 seconds, and then at the very end, it just says, "Well, 17 we just wasted $2 million. Where's your money going?" 18 Kevin: Yeah, I loved that. 19 Danny: Yeah, haven't (inaudible) those for a 20 while. You have to enjoy those. 21 Kevin: Well, we're still seeing good commercials. 22 It's not like -- We're not seeing as excessive 23 commercials. 24 Dom: Yeah. We're not seeing the big E*TRADE, 11 1 like, broadway-musical, synchronized-swimmers, 2 monkeys-everywhere commercials. 3 Danny: They're not going to be as meta anymore; 4 it's true. 5 Kevin: But here's the thing I'm wondering about is 6 that the economy is in a slump -- what kind of 7 Super Bowl commercials are going to see that -- 8 Dom: Did you hear about that one company -- I 9 forget what it's name was. 10 Danny: FedEx. 11 Dom: No, no. Not FedEx. There was another one. 12 I believe it's a service to essentially cheat on your 13 wife. They applied to run a commercial at the 14 Super Bowl, and of course, they were denied, and they 15 were saying that it's hypocritical for the Super Bowl to 16 run so many alcohol ads and not run these. I have to 17 look that up afterwards. 18 Danny: Something else I was thinking about -- 19 apparently, I think it was FedEx that pulled their 20 sponsorship out because they laid off so many people 21 that they thought it'd look really bad if they turned 22 around and spent $50 million on a commercial. 23 Kevin: For this year? 24 Danny: Yeah, something like that. 12 1 Kevin: Woah. 2 Lita: That's crazy. 3 Danny: Either this year's commercial or in the 4 future or something like that. 5 Kevin: But they found someone to fill in the slot, 6 though; right? 7 Dom: In all likelihood. I mean, come on. 8 Lita: It is the Super Bowl. 9 Kevin: Well, that is really interesting. Hey, 10 okay. I guess we are seeing the first effects, but I'm 11 pretty sure, like, what next Super Bowl, we're really 12 going to be seeing it? 13 Dom: Well, here's hoping that we get at least some 14 recovery by then. People will go, "Hey, maybe it's time 15 to advertise for the Super Bowl again," because 16 otherwise -- oh man, last year when they started 17 repeating the commercials, it was demoralizing. 18 Lita: It was very painful. 19 Dom: And then the game got really good, so -- 20 Lita: Yeah, and then we forgot. 21 Dom: That was, you know, at least a plus, but 22 there were those years it was the Carolina-New England 23 Super Bowl where it was basically 3-3 at halftime, and 24 we were all saying to each other, "Oh my God. This 13 1 game's terrible, but at least the commercials were 2 good," and then of course, they both combine to score 3 something like 50 points in the second half. 4 Kevin: Here's the big thing about commercials this 5 year: I think the big is one is the Coors commercials. 6 They're planning to do 30 one-second advertisements, but 7 not actually nationally; right? Through local 8 television stations. 9 What I'm wondering is what are those commercials 10 going to be like? Is it just going to be a guy 11 screaming, "Coors!" for the whole second? 12 Dom: Maybe it will be just a girl with a Coors 13 T-shirt ripping it open, like the Go Daddy commercials. 14 Kevin: I'm going to be watching for it tomorrow, 15 but really is someone going to catch it? 16 Danny: I'd just like to go on record and say my 17 prediction: One second of porn and a URL plug. 18 Lita: Good prediction. 19 Dom: So it's just soft-core stuff; right? 20 Danny: Well, enough of it that they don't get 21 pulled by the FCC. But you know, just -- That's my 22 theory. It's got to be something men will want to watch 23 immediately. What else could there be? 24 Kevin: Terry Tate Office Linebacker. 14 1 Danny: Well, that does take some time to set up. 2 Dom: You could just have him hitting people and 3 going, "Woo!" 4 Danny: Okay. That's true. 5 Dom: I would watch that. 6 Danny: That is true. I'd watch that too. 7 Dom: I mean, you guys have been to the 8 ReturnofTerryTate.com haven't you? 9 Lita: No. 10 Danny: No, I haven't. 11 Dom: There were some other ones they put up for 12 the election season for Terry Tate Office Linebacker. 13 Kevin: Really? But it's not from Reebok; right? 14 Dom: It's not from Reebok; it's just Terry Tate, I 15 think. 16 Kevin: Woah. 17 Lita: Him himself? 18 Kevin: I mean, "Woo." 19 Dom: Yes, exactly. 20 Kevin: All right. So, let's think about it this 21 way: Every single Super Bowl there's always going to be 22 the halftime show, and there's the really good ones -- 23 actually, I don't even know if there's really that many 24 really good ones, but there's always the really bad 15 1 ones. 2 Dom: Like Indian Jones, those two. 3 Kevin: Wait. What? 4 Dom: You don't know about this? Super Bowl 5 halftime shows didn't always have to be concerts. They 6 used to be shows, and Indiana Jones -- not Harrison Ford 7 as in Indiana Jones but, you know, some stunt actor 8 dressed up as Indiana Jones -- was in two Super Bowls at 9 the halftime show. They brought Indiana Jones for two 10 Super Bowls to just, you know, run around and do stunts 11 and entertain people. These Super Bowl halftime shows 12 used to be terrible. Terrible. 13 Kevin: Wow. 14 Dom: It goes back to The Simpsons again. Do you 15 remember that one Simpsons thing with the halftime show 16 where the aliens come out and sing? 17 Kevin: Oh, really? 18 Dom: That's what it used to be like. That 19 actually is what it used to be like. It used to be this 20 chintzy Disney on Ice -- 21 Danny: Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't start 22 watching football until -- 23 Dom: -- movie tie-in thing, the likes of which we 24 will thankfully never see again because what we're 16 1 limited to now is all those promos with the Fox robot 2 who gets to take all of that crap for us. 3 Kevin: Here's the thing I'm wondering about: So 4 you mentioned the Fox robot; right? For 20th Century 5 Fox -- not 20th Century Fox -- Fox television. They air 6 the Super Bowl pretty much almost every year. I think 7 it is every year; right? They've got the contract for 8 it. 9 Dom: They've got the contract. 10 Kevin: So, I mean, how much do they pay to get 11 that kind of contract? It's an exorbitant amount; 12 right? 13 Dom: It is an exorbitant amount. I mean, you saw 14 how much NBC paid for the Olympics, and the Olympics 15 gets way less viewers than the Super Bowl. 16 Kevin: But here's the thing: Is it worth it? The 17 viewership for the Super Bowl never feels like it's 18 growing. 19 Dom: Oh, it's growing. 20 Kevin: It is? 21 Dom: The thing is that the viewership is already 22 so wide that percentage growth is miniscule. 23 Danny: There's difficulty finding new people to 24 watch football. You basically have to get your child at 17 1 football age. 2 Dom: Yeah. You basically just have to give birth 3 to more people to watch football for the football 4 viewership to go up. 5 Kevin: All right. So, here's the thing that I'm 6 really wondering: What are you guys expecting from 7 tomorrow's game? 8 I'm actually expecting it not to be that exciting, 9 especially considering last year's game. 10 Dom: Well, so there's the theory: The Arizona 11 Cardinals are one of the best offenses in the NFL, and 12 the Pittsburgh Steelers are one of the best defenses in 13 the NFL. The theory is that those two are going to 14 cancel out, and we'll see the two weaker segments 15 fighting it out. So it will be Ben Roethlisberger 16 running around like a chicken with his head cut off, 17 throwing things at random, trying to hit the bull or 18 something; and then it will be the Arizona Cardinals 19 defense -- 20 Danny: Do you know anybody? 21 Dom: Isn't there Chike Okeafor on there? He's a 22 Cal guy. Anyway, the Cardinals defense was doing really 23 well in these playoffs, and they've been beating the 24 crap out of people, and so it will basically be Hines 18 1 Ward, who's Korean -- half Korean -- by the way. I have 2 to remind you of this. 3 Kevin: Wait. What? 4 Dom: His name is Kim Hyun-ae. He's half Korean. 5 Kevin: He's a Korean football player, basically. 6 Dom: He's a half-Korean football player. 7 Kevin: Oh, okay. 8 Dom: But anyway, so it will be, you know, Ben 9 Roethlisberger, Hines Ward, and Willie Parker -- who's 10 hopefully healthy, and same with Heinz ward -- but, 11 anyway -- 12 Danny: They've had two weeks to walk it off; 13 they'll be fine. 14 Dom: Yeah. They've had two weeks of trainers 15 rubbing dirt on it; right? 16 Danny: Yeah. 17 Dom: It will be them versus the Arizona Cardinals' 18 defense, and then we'll have to see if Larry Fitzgerald 19 can pull off some amazing acrobatic catches as if he 20 does that every day, which he does. I hate that man. 21 He has everything I don't. 22 Danny: Hair. 23 Kevin: Dom has -- his hair is awesome. 24 Dom: Did you know why we wears the dreadlocks like 19 1 that, though? It's for his mom. 2 Kevin: Really? 3 Danny: Yeah. 4 Dom: His dreadlocks are the way his mom kept her 5 hair. 6 Danny: And he hasn't cut his hair since his mom 7 died. 8 Kevin: Oh, okay. 9 Dom: He's all Samson and stuff. Although it is 10 true that if your hair goes out of the helmet, it is a 11 legal part to grab; right? 12 Danny: Yeah. 13 Dom: For him, Polamalu and all those other people 14 who tried to shirk the NFL dress codes. 15 Danny: With the hair cape going on. 16 Dom: Hair cape. 17 Kevin: So actually, Lita, last year you got to see 18 one of the best Super Bowls in a long time. 19 Dom: And you know what? I was in Germany. 20 Kevin: That's right. 21 Dom: Germany. 22 Kevin: I forgot about that. 23 Danny: I'm sorry. 24 Lita: Did you watch it through Slingbox or 20 1 something? 2 Dom: No. I was in Germany when the Super Bowl was 3 on I was asleep because I had an 8:00 a.m. meeting the 4 next day. Hot dang. That was the first Super Bowl I'd 5 missed in a very long time, and ooh -- it was one of the 6 best of all time. 7 Lita: That was really exciting. 8 Dom: Of course. At least I got to talk to my 9 coworker the next day. He's from Boston. In the middle 10 of the day at a meeting, he was just idly poking around, 11 he's like, "Damn. The Patriots lost," and we said to 12 each other, "What do you mean? We've known that since 13 this morning." "Yeah, well, I was actually paying 14 attention to the meeting." "You're an idiot then." 15 Kevin: So, Lita, I got to ask you: Since you 16 don't watch football as much as the other people here, 17 what are you actually expecting tomorrow? Are you just 18 excited to actually watch the football game in a long 19 time, or you just wanting to watch the 3-D trailers for 20 Monsters vs. Aliens? 21 Lita: I'm actually really excited for the Monsters 22 vs. Aliens trailer. 23 Kevin: You guys heard about this right? The 3-D 24 glasses? 21 1 Dom: They're giving out 3-D glasses for a trailer? 2 Dang. It's the "Black or White" video all over again. 3 Lita: But the movie looks really mean. 4 Kevin: No, it's actually two color 3-D, not the 5 the one where it's like if something moves left or 6 right, it makes it look 3-D, like the 3rd Rock from the 7 Sun thing. 8 Lita: Well, the game is -- I don't think -- well, 9 we'll see. I hope the game is more exciting than the 10 actual commercials, because economy these days, I don't 11 think I can afford that much excitement in commercials 12 anymore. 13 Dom: You can't afford excitement? 14 Lita: Yeah. I can't -- I don't know. 15 Danny: Well, look on the bright side -- I'm sure 16 all the money that was put into the commercials was 17 spent last year. 18 Lita: Oh, that's true. 19 Dom: Well, no. Things were going to crap last 20 year too. 21 Danny: But quietly. 22 Dom: But quietly going to crap. People were 23 trying to deny that things were going to crap. 24 Danny: Which means you put more money in 22 1 advertising. 2 Lita: Yeah. that's a good point. You have a good 3 point. 4 Danny: This year everybody's screwed, so everyone 5 can skimp again. 6 Dom: It's true. 7 Danny: It's the whole raising and lowering of the 8 bar. Once the standards are low enough, yeah, just 9 throw whatever crap they want out there. 10 Dom: Lowered expectations. 11 Kevin: So actually, Danny, then what are you 12 expecting? Are you actually -- okay. This is the 13 common question for everyone; right? Who's going to win 14 tomorrow -- the game or the commercials? 15 Dom: I'm going to make a kick-ass guacamole 16 tomorrow, so I don't know about you guys, but guacamole 17 is going to win. 18 Lita: Guacamole's going to win. 19 Danny: You know, I just bought some avocados, too. 20 I should probably bring those, throw them into the pot. 21 Kevin: Oh my God. There's going to be, like -- we 22 had one Super Bowl party, I think it was -- you guys 23 were there too. Or Albert -- Albert was one of my 24 former roommates -- he made like 12 avocados' worth of 23 1 guacamole, and then he -- we didn't finish it, and I 2 don't like guacamole, so he left it in the fridge with 3 the Saran Wrap over it, but it wasn't completely 4 covered, so the smell of the guacamole was just 5 completely in the fridge, and every time I opened it to 6 go get my food, you're like, "Oh. Guacamole. Great." 7 Dom: And hey, guacamole is one of those great 8 agers because it gets more brown and sludgy every day. 9 Lita: Eww. 10 Dom: It stays there in the fridge, even if you put 11 it in vacuum-seal tubing or something like that. I 12 don't care what you put it in, it's going to get old. 13 Kevin: Can't you just swap out the avocados for 14 beer? 15 Danny: I'll see what I can do. 16 Kevin: Excellent. 17 Dom: I wish I could drink beer at the Super Bowl. 18 Kevin: You're just going to end up falling asleep, 19 though. 20 Dom: Yeah. I would fall asleep by halftime. 21 Lita: Oh no. 22 Dom: And that's with half a beer. 23 Danny: I'm sure you'd wake up in time for the 24 fourth quarter. 24 1 Lita: Who's playing at halftime this year? 2 The boys: Bruce Springsteen. 3 Dom: The Boss. 4 Lita: The safe choice. 5 Kevin: Well, they got to be making safe-ish 6 choices nowadays. 7 Dom: So the thing is that even if Bruce 8 Springsteen flashes his chest, no one will care. 9 Danny: Ah, it's nothing people haven't seen 10 before. 11 Lita: I want Janet Jackson to come back. 12 Dom: Well, here's the thing: They're still 13 enforcing the 5-second delay; right? 14 Danny: Yeah. 15 Dom: Yeah, so -- 16 Lita: It will be totally fine to bring her back. 17 Dom: And so, hey, the NFL have been trying to make 18 it so that people at the stadium actually get more 19 amenities than the people sitting in their living rooms 20 so maybe, what -- 21 Danny: And what better way to do that -- 22 Dom: -- what better way to do that than with 23 boobs; right? 24 Kevin: Oh, so you can say, "I was there. I got to 25 1 see the boobs"? 2 Dom: Well, no. I'm not saying that they're 3 actually going to do the boobs thing, but there have 4 been a lot of efforts by the NFL lately that -- big 5 screens, HD, replay -- all these things actually make 6 the home experience better than the actual game 7 experience at the stadium, and so they're going to be 8 trying a lot of different ways to make people actually 9 want go to the stadium. I mean, free wireless has been 10 a step. If you hear about the Dallas Cowboys' new 11 stadium, they have about a 70-foot by a 120-foot 12 JumboTron in HD. It's about half the length of the 13 field. 14 Lita: Oh my god. 15 Kevin: Wow. It's high-definition too? 16 Dom: Mmm-hmm. 17 Kevin: Dang. 18 Lita: Wait. What's the resolution on that thing? 19 Dom: Lots by a lots. 20 Lita: No. But, like -- okay. Fine. 21 Dom: I don't -- 22 Danny: You could put bulbs to two inches apart, 23 and you could probably have HD quality at that point. 24 Lita: It's insane. 26 1 Kevin: But only in a place as crazy about football 2 like Texas, though; right? I mean, I don't think we'd 3 ever see -- we have the technology, probably, here in 4 San Francisco, but I doubt we'd ever see that here. 5 Dom: I wish we could, though. Have you ever been 6 to Candlestick? 7 Kevin: I've been to Candlestick when I was a kid, 8 but I don't remember anything about it. 9 Dom: So here's the thing about candlestick: There 10 are two ways into Candlestick, one is from 101 -- 11 Lita: Yes. 12 Dom: -- one is from the hills of San Francisco. 13 Lita: Yeah, that's right. 14 Dom: You basically have to block off an entire day 15 to go to a San Francisco 49ers game, because you need to 16 go there three hours early, so you can wait in a big-ass 17 line, then park and then walk for your 15 to 30 minutes 18 to the stadium. Then, on the way out, you will 19 basically sit in your car and talk about the game, as it 20 takes you three hours to get out. 21 Lita: It's really horrible. 22 Kevin: Wow. 23 Dom: There is no transportation there. There's no 24 BART train that goes there. There's no train that goes 27 1 anywhere. 2 Lita: It's in the middle of nowhere. It's where 3 you work -- 4 Dom: Basically, you have to either wait for a bus, 5 which is the smart thing to do, but the buses that go 6 there mostly come from San Francisco. 7 Danny: So you're going back into San Francisco and 8 trying to find a BART there. 9 Dom: Well, that's if you're lucky enough to live 10 on the BART system. Me, I would just have to drive 11 or -- 12 Lita: Take Caltrain. Caltrain. 13 Dom: Caltrain to a bus -- yeah... I'd rather just 14 sit for three hours in my own car; at least I get to 15 control the music better. 16 Kevin: Well, here's my question: The whole reason 17 it's that bad is because it's still an old-school kind 18 of stadium; right? 19 Lita: Location's also bad. 20 Dom: Location's a huge issue. 21 Kevin: Oh, that's right. They're moving to Santa 22 Clara. 23 Dom: I would love Santa Clara. 24 Kevin: Santa Clara 49ers. But with the name of 28 1 San Francisco. 2 Dom: The Santa Clara 49ers of San Francisco? 3 Kevin: Yes. Correct. 4 Dom: No, wait. It would be the San Francisco 5 49ers of Santa Clara. 6 Lita: Traffic will be good, though. The location 7 is really good. 8 Danny: New York Jets, New York Jets. 9 Lita: Oh, that's true. 10 Kevin: They will be our New York Jets. 11 Lita: We are New Jersey. 12 Dom: Chicago Bears don't techically play in 13 Chicago. They just play near Chicago. 14 Kevin: That's true. 15 Dom: But at least they're in the same state, so 16 they got that going for them. 17 Oh, man. I wonder if Bruce Springsteen is going 18 to try and sing "The Wrestler," and people who haven't 19 seen the movie will just stare at him. 20 Kevin: That's the thing I'm wondering: Is he 21 going to sing the song from The Wrestler? 22 Dom: Or is he just going to do the old stuff that 23 Paul McCartney did? "Born in the USA" and all the other 24 hits that people associate with the Boss. Safe is safe; 29 1 right? 2 Kevin: Well, I mean that's good. I liked the Paul 3 McCartney show. I thought it was one of the better -- 4 Dom: Well, that's because he's Paul McCartney. 5 Kevin: Well, yeah. I do have a huge bias because 6 he was a Beatle. 7 Dom: And you don't have a bunch of people trying 8 to sing "Walk This Way" for a clean audience, even 9 though that song is about getting some. 10 Danny: Oh, yeah, that. Well, maybe Bruce 11 Springsteen will throw up another -- maybe he'll throw 12 up a silhouette like Prince. 13 Dom: Oh, the Prince silhouette was brilliant. 14 Kevin: Wasn't that the one where he squirted the 15 water out of the tip of his guitar too? 16 Dom: I don't think he did. 17 Danny: I don't remember hearing any reports of 18 that, although it makes perfect sense. 19 Dom: I don't remember there being that. 20 Kevin: I thought that was -- 21 Dom: The wettest I remember a Super Bowl halftime 22 show was that one, the Raiders and -- who were they 23 playing? The Raiders were playing the -- 24 Kevin: I usually don't watch any games where the 30 1 Raiders play. 2 Dom: Well, anyway -- Oh. It was the 3 Raiders-Buccaneers Super Bowl. It was Gwen Stefani at 4 halftime, and I licked the TV screen. That was your TV. 5 Lita: What? 6 Dom: No, wait a second. You had to hold me back 7 from licking the TV screen when she was on there. 8 Kevin: I don't think that was my TV. When was 9 this? 10 Dom: It was at your apartment with Oliver. 11 Remember? The Raiders lost. We all decided that we'd 12 stick around because we didn't want to go outside for 13 fear of getting shot? 14 Kevin: Oh, that's right. That's one of those 15 games where I don't remember -- 16 Lita: Wait who was shooting? Rioting? 17 Dom: No. We weren't actually shooting. 18 Kevin: I didn't watch the actual game. 19 Dom: I'm exaggerating but we stayed around a 20 little while afterward because it was like, "There are 21 disgruntled Raiders fans out there, and I'm not going 22 out there." 23 Lita: Yeah, because it's Oakland; right? I would 24 totally believe you if they were rioting. 31 1 Kevin: We were not in Oakland, were we? 2 Dom: We were in Berkeley. 3 Kevin: We were still the closeted college kids. 4 Lita: Well, when Obama ran, Berkeley was crazy. 5 Did you see the mess? 6 Kevin: Yeah, but they were not angry crazy. I 7 would just imagine what it would be like if he lost, 8 then -- 9 Lita: Everything would be quiet. 10 Everyone: No. 11 Kevin: Look at what happened because of just the 12 guy that got shot on the BART by a police officer. 13 Lita: That was Oakland. So? That was Oakland. 14 Kevin: Yes. And the Raiders are from Oakland. 15 Dom: And there's this concept called spillover. 16 We can do an S-word contest -- not contest -- podcast 17 about that one. 18 Kevin: I don't know how I would talk about 19 spillover. 20 Dom: I know. It's a little vague. 21 Kevin: That's like making a subject about stuff. 22 Dom: You know what? It would actually probably be 23 better in the podcast about another one: Stupid. We 24 can talk about stupid for an hour. I'm pretty sure we 32 1 could do that. 2 Kevin: Stupid could come in 6 parts, 12 parts. 3 Danny: That's true. That's how many series, right 4 there. 5 Lita: There are different levels of stupid that 6 you have to go through. 7 Kevin: That's true and also the different arts in 8 which stupid is applied, like film, music, sports -- 9 Dom: Television, comedy. 10 Kevin: Yeah. There's tons of stupid you can go 11 over, but we don't have any of that scheduled. 12 Danny: So, Kevin, is there a team that you're 13 particularly invested in for this year? 14 Kevin: I am not going for either side -- Actually, 15 the thing is -- 16 Lita: You just did. 17 Kevin: -- I kind of want to go for the Cardinals 18 because I want to see Kurt Warner give even more of his 19 soul to the devil. 20 Lita: What? 21 Dom: Well, the thing is that Kurt Warner is too 22 religious to have sold his soul to the devil; he's too 23 nice. 24 Kevin: Well, then how do you explain what 33 1 happened? 2 Dom: He's an alien. 3 Kevin: Oh. 4 Lita: Wait. Who is -- what happened to Kurt 5 Warner and what -- what? 6 Dom: So here's the thing about Kurt Warner: About 7 -- what? -- fifteen years ago, he was a bagger at a 8 grocery store. Then he decided, "You know what? I'm 9 going to go play football. Throw all of this away." 10 You know what he did? He went to the Arena League. 11 Now, know that the Arena League is so fringe that among 12 their owners -- Jon Bon Jovi. He owns one of their 13 teams. 14 Danny: The SaberCats. 15 Lita: SaberCats are awesome. You want to be a 16 SaberCat girl. I see their commercials all the time. 17 Dom: Actually, I don't want to be a SaberCat girl. 18 Kevin: I don't know about Dom being a SaberCat 19 girl. 20 Dom: Hey, hey. I would be a sexy SaberCat girl; 21 all right? 22 Kevin: I forgot they're called The Kittens. 23 Danny: Saberkitten. 24 Dom: Me and the other cats, we would bring all of 34 1 the boys to the yard. 2 Kevin: So, going back to Kurt Warner -- 3 Dom: Going back to Kurt Warner. He went to the 4 Arena League, and this is the thing about the Arena 5 League: They pay you really badly because their entire 6 draw as a football league is that one, they play during 7 the NFL off-season, so it caters to football withdrawal, 8 which I'm going to go into in two days, oh my God. 9 After football withdrawal -- anyway. They cater to 10 that, they have cheap seats that are really close to the 11 stadium -- they're really close to the field of play, 12 and by "really close to the field of play," I mean that 13 if you are in the front rows, you should watch out for, 14 you know incoming, uh -- 15 Kevin: Men. 16 Dom: -- incoming men, mostly. Helmets. Not 17 really balls. 18 Lita: Are there no rules in Arena football? 19 Kevin: This is not the XFL. 20 Dom: This is not the xFL, and it's not Mutant 21 League either. Although, Mutant League Football was an 22 awesome game. 23 And so he went to the Arena League. I think he 24 went to Arena League MVP, but anyway -- 35 1 Kevin: Yeah, he was. 2 Dom: Yeah, he was Arena League MVP. Then he went 3 to the NFL, got a job as a backup quarterback, which is 4 usually, getting, you know -- 5 Lita: That's pretty good. 6 Dom: -- a decent amount of money to hold a 7 clipboard, and then the person in front of him got hurt. 8 And so it's like, "Hey, Kurt, Mr. Warner. You, uh -- 9 Kevin: "How's your arm?" 10 Dom: -- How's your arm? You know the playbook?" 11 It's like, "Let's do it." (claps) Like that -- super 12 Bowl MVP. 13 Lita: Oh! What? 14 Kevin: Yeah, super Bowl MVP. 15 Dom and Kevin: That year. 16 Kevin: And then what happened the next year? It 17 was also Super Bowl (overlapping). 18 Dom: It was also a Super Bowl. 19 Kevin: Yeah. Two Super Bowls in a row. 20 Lita: When was this? 21 Kevin: Is that right? That's right; right? 22 Dom: Yeah, 1999 and 2000 Super Bowls. And then 23 for some reason, for the past six years or so -- Well, 24 actually he had a little more success after that, but 36 1 then apparently the Kurt Warner alien returns to his 2 native planet because Kurt Warner had a very average 3 career in the in-between years. Then, this year, he's 4 what -- 37? 5 Kevin: Thereabouts. 6 Dom: Thereabouts. So he's a backup to Matt 7 Leinart, USC golden boy. Dick. Anyway -- 8 Lita: Wow. 9 Kevin: So Matt Leinart is starting quarterback for 10 the Cardinals, Cardinals are losing as always. Matt 11 Leinart gets hurt, and they go, "Hey, Kurt Warner, you 12 were Super Bowl MVP, so I think we're okay with giving 13 this team to you," and guess what? He's in the Super 14 Bowl again. Surprise! 15 Kevin: And if he wins, three-time Super Bowl MVP. 16 Dom: Well, I don't know this year. If the 17 Cardinals win, then I think Fitzgerald -- 18 Kevin: You don't think they're -- 19 Dom: I think Fitzgerald would get it. 20 Kevin: All right. 21 Dom: That's my prediction. If the Cardinals win, 22 Fitzgerald is Super Bowl MVP. 23 Lita: But what if Kurt Warner gets it? What if he 24 gets it? Then is that a big deal to be a third time -- 37 1 Dom: Well, this is the thing: It's a big deal to 2 be one. That's one thing. Two is, uh -- if he wins the 3 Super Bowl again, this makes a really good case for him 4 to be in the Hall of Fame. Really good. Because he's 5 had about three good years with the Rams; he had about a 6 year and a half that's good with the Cardinals; and if 7 there are three Super Bowls to cap that, then why not? 8 Lita: Grocer/bagger to Hall of Fame. Oh my God. 9 Danny: It does make a good story. 10 Lita: It makes a movie. 11 Dom: It makes a great story. I can see Disney 12 doing that. 13 Kevin: Kurt Warner Story. 14 Dom: The Kurt Warner Story. Would it have Mark 15 Wahlberg, do you think? 16 Lita: I think so. 17 Dom: What actor do you think would play Kurt 18 Warner? Who has that wholesome-but-still-stubbly look? 19 Kevin: Oh, shoot. 20 Dom: He has to be partially graying, too. 21 Kevin: Can't we just have Jason Statham play him? 22 Dom: He's too British. 23 Danny: He can't drive a football. 24 Kevin: Oh, that's right. 38 1 Lita: Australian. Australian. 2 Dom: What do you mean you can't drive a football? 3 You drive a football all the time. 4 Kevin: A football that will explode. 5 Dom: You will notice in this podcast that, you 6 know, Kevin and I, and occasionally our guests, will 7 have a huge hard-on for Jason Statham. 8 Kevin: He's Bruce Willis 2. 9 Lita: He's better than Bruce. 10 Danny: (inaudible) 11 Lita: He's better than Bruce Willis. 12 Dom: You're in denial. 13 Danny: I haven't seen a single Jason Statham 14 movie -- 15 Dom: You would let Jason Statham do you, and it 16 wouldn't be gay. You would let him do you, and it would 17 not be gay. 18 Lita: Him and Christian Bale. No. 19 Dom: No, not Christian Bale. Kevin -- 20 Kevin: Christian Bale cannot play Kurt Warner. 21 Dom: Only if Christian Bale was voiced by Kevin 22 Conroy. Then, then I would let him do me, and it 23 wouldn't be gay because he's the goddamn Batman. 24 But yeah, who would play Kurt Warner? I think 39 1 Christian Bale probably couldn't do it. He's a little 2 too clean. 3 Danny: Yeah. That and being in the Batman movies 4 implies that he's rich, which never helps when you want 5 to be a bad boy. 6 Kevin: I really don't know who I would want to 7 play Kurt Warner. Could Russel Crowe play Kurt Warner? 8 Dom: He could. 9 Kevin: If he was, like, A Beautiful Mind version 10 of Russel Crowe; right? 11 Dom: Yeah. 12 Danny: The soft Russel Crowe. 13 Dom: Soft Russel Crowe. 14 Lita: But that's the weak Russel Crowe. The 15 Gladiator Russel Crowe is the best one. 16 Kevin: But that's not -- 17 Dom: That's just because you want to see him naked 18 again and oiled, which I can't blame you for. I mean -- 19 Kevin: Well, here's the other thing I want to ask 20 about: So we talked about Kurt Warner, and so 21 Roethlisberger is back -- I haven't been following 22 football in the past, like, 2-3 years, really -- so 23 didn't he have a motorcycle accident, though? Like, all 24 of a sudden -- 40 1 Kevin: I get to say my favorite word now. He 2 ruptured his spleen! 3 Danny: Wait, when was this? 4 Dom: In the off-season, I believe after he won his 5 first Super Bowl after his rookie year. He was on a 6 motorcycle, which by the way, most NFL contracts will 7 not let you do explicitly because of injury risk. Not 8 that that stops people like Jeff Kent or Monta Ellis, 9 but, anyway -- 10 Lita: (coughing) 11 Kevin: (coughing) 12 Danny: And scooters? 13 Dom: Perhaps. It might also apply to the Major 14 League Baseball contract situation with trucks, and by 15 "trucks," I mean motorcycles with certain mustachioed 16 jackasses who unfortunately went to Cal, so I will not 17 speak any more ill of Jeff Kent. 18 But -- What was I talking about again? Oh, yeah. 19 Ben Roethlisberger. 20 Kevin: Very good. 21 Danny: Yes, yes. Back on the spleen. 22 Dom: He was in a motorcycle accident. I believe 23 he ruptured his spleen. He could have died. 24 I think, more importantly, he basically missed a 41 1 season. It was his sophomore season that he missed, I 2 believe; and when he came back, he just wasn't the same 3 for a while. You could just tell that he was terrible. 4 He hadn't practiced, his conditioning was only okay, he 5 was getting the crap beat out of him, and the Steelers 6 just suffered for it. 7 And yeah, he had one of the stupidest accidents 8 ever. It's like, "Hey, I've won the Super Bowl, and 9 I'm golden in Pittsburgh for the next -- at least five 10 years to decade." I mean, hell, they still like Terry 11 Bradshaw there. I can't explain that. But he's riding 12 on the biggest high in the world, and he's like, "Hey, 13 I wonder how I'll celebrate this fact that I've got a 14 lot of money, a lot of fame." 15 Kevin: "And I'm effectively set for life." 16 Dom: "Oh, let's squander all of that goodwill by 17 wasting my time and wasting the entire season of the 18 Pittsburgh Steelers." 19 Kevin: But he brought them back to the Super Bowl. 20 Dom: Uh -- 21 Kevin: Or was that not really him? 22 Danny: He didn't prevent them from getting back. 23 Dom: Yeah. 24 Danny: Same way he didn't prevent them from 42 1 winning. 2 Dom: I mean, the "Big Ben" thing in his rookie 3 season -- he was actually pretty good. I mean his 4 completion percentage was pretty high, he made smart 5 decisions, things like that; but when you're on a team 6 like the Pittsburgh Steelers or, say, the Ravens, your 7 job is not to lose. Your job is to score just enough so 8 that the defense stays off the field, and so that they 9 don't to have worry about allowing any points. You can 10 let them allow a few points. 11 Danny: Let's be honest here, your job is to get to 12 10. 13 Dom: That's if you're the Ravens. If you're the 14 Steelers, your job is to get to 13, I think. 15 Kevin: All right. So let's wrap up this episode. 16 Who do you pick as the winner for tomorrow's game? 17 Dom: Traditionalists would say the Steelers. I'm 18 rooting for the Cardinals. 19 Kevin: All right. One Cardinals. 20 Danny: I've mentioned this at some point, that I 21 kind of like the Steelers' offense only because they 22 have a particular pattern that I like to refer to as the 23 "jet stream attack", so -- 24 Lita: Huh. 43 1 Danny: I'd like to see that again, so hopefully 2 they win. 3 Lita: I'm just going to say the Cardinals as well. 4 Kevin: All right. And I go with the Cardinals, 5 so... Go Cardinals! 6 Dom: Oh, we're so wrong. 7 Lita: We're so -- we're going to be -- 8 Danny: We can't all be wrong. 9 Lita: Yeah. Danny. Either Danny will be right or 10 we will. We should put money on it. 11 Dom: I bet Coors will win. 12 Lita: Coors. 13 Kevin: I bet Mickey Rourke will win. 14 Lita: Oh, Mickey Rourke. Yes, he's going to win. 15 Kevin: All right. That pretty much wraps up our 16 very first episode of the S-Words Podcast, and we'll be 17 seeing you again, probably next week where our subject 18 is going to be Starcraft. I think that's going to be a 19 pretty exciting one for a lot of us. 20 Someone: Sacrifice me. 21 Kevin: See you next week. 22 Dom: That wraps up another episode of the S-Words 23 Podcast. 24 To reach us online, we're at 44 1 www.S-Words-Podcast.com, or if you want to reach us by 2 e-mail, you can reach us at 3 feedback@S-Words-podcast.com. 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24